My Digital World

I do not come home every weekend, since I do not have the OV card to travel for free. Two weeks ago, when I came home my mom told me that she was very tired. I asked her whether YeYe was very naughty. She said she was fine. She was tired because she could not sleep much. I told her to take a nap in the afternoon. But she wanted to swim in the noon. So, in the afternoon she went to swim and when she was back she said she felt unwell.

I was a bit shocked. She said she felt better when she was at home. Maybe the environment in the swimming made her more sick. After talking to my mom for a while, she told me something that my grandma told her before. She slept less because all people who become old, can not sleep that much. Recently my mom ate less. She said that it is because of she became old.

From that moment, I realize that my mom becomes old. Looking at her eldest son, who is almost 30, it is no wonder that my mom becomes old. In the past few days, I have thought about what I should do to give my mom a better life. So far, I do not bring something back to my mom who she can be proud of. I am the oldest one. I am also the one who receives the most educations. My mom told me that all her hopes is in me. She expected me to have a good career. I did not tell her that his son wants to start with his own business in stead of continuing with what he has studied for.

I do not know if this is a sensible step. My CV is filled with more than 15 years part-time experiences in all kind of fields. I expect I can get a good job quite easy, even with this bad economy. But I want to choose to to work for myself. It will be a tough path. I might suffer a lot. There is also no garantee that I will be successful. I really do not know if this is a wise step....

I know that my mom has many hopes in me. I feel bad that I do not get a girlfriend. Somehow, my feelings say my mom really want to see me bring a girl to home. Nowadays, many guys around my ages alreaddy have had showed their ex's to their parents. I feel kind of a "loser". I am a loser in love, career and also in my study.