My Digital World

This week I go to Delft to study for my exams in January. All the exams are very important, especially Analog IC Design and Semiconductor and its Components. The first one is very tough for me since it is very to understand the way of how to build up a circuit. The second one is tough for me since in my Bachelor course, I had skipped this part of my Electronic profile because of I was running out of time at the exam week. In the Master, this course continues and it is 100% focus on the physics (quantanmechanics).
Although these courses are very tough, I like to study for it. But this week I haven't start with them since I have other courses to revise and next week I also want to handle my essay in. I notice that studying for the courses I like, can give me a very satisfy feeling. I prefer to study with other people since that person can push me to work or we can exchange our understanding. One big disadvantage of studying together, is that studying is very slow. But I prefer for study together.

Well, that is my life at University. On the way to Rotterdam in the evening, my cousin Patsy will come along to my place to sleep. During the weekend, we have agreed that we will meet at Rotterdam Station Central Station at 22:30h because she doesn't know the way to go to my place. It will be first time that my cousin will visit me and stay at my place.
My cousin was already in Rotterdam at that day because she get know a guy who lives there. After a few meetings this guy, they become boy- and girlfriend, which I think it is very ridiculous. They know each other very short! I also don't believe in "love at first sight". I also think having a steady relationship is much better than having uncountable relationships. People say that you will get experience of how to life with 'your other part'. I am not agreed with this. I still think that you will get know how to grow with your other part if both of you are really in relationship. Of course, sh*t things happens. But that is what everyone has to face to and solve alone or with your other part.

Anyway, the fact that my cousin and her boyfriend know each other very short, doesn't make me mad at her. It is because she is not fair to me and use me as an excuse. This is the whole story:
On my way to Rotterdam and when my cousin Patsy is in Rotterdam too, I get a call of her. She asks me where I am. I answer her that I am still on my way to Rotterdam. Then she asks me if she can come along to my place later without giving me any reason (she answers "gewoon", which I don't know how to translate this typical Dutch answer in English. But 'gewoon' is not a reason!). I feel something not behind this request. At the background, I hear her boyfriend yells and laughs which I don't really appreciate. Then I ask Pasty why she likes to make it so late again (to give her 1 more chance to be honest to me). She doesn't know how to reply me. Then, I agree that she comes later, which will be 23:30h! I can understand that she likes to stay with her boyfriend longer that is not the thing that I am mad about. But then she suddenly says that there is nothing to do at my place, so that is why she prefers to stay at her boyfriend's place. This make a bit mad because it seems that she uses my place for sleeping only, like a hotel.
Well, I accept that she comes later. We have agreed that I will pick her up at the underground station in the place where I live. She asks me how to go to my place, although I offer her to go meet her in the station one hour later. But she says that she knows the way and her boyfriend will be with her and bring her to the underground station. So, there is no need for me. I tell her in details how she goes to my place.
Before I arrive in Rotterdam, she sends me another sms. In that sms, she says that her boyfriend is sick, so she asks if she allows to come to my place the next morning. I really don't understand what the benefit is of going to my place so early. Maybe she wants to buy some cakes and that is why she likes to meet me since I agree with her to buy cakes with her before. I send a sms back in which I say I am very mad at her. That sms is about so: "I don't need to talk to you for a while. If you prefer to stay at your boyfriend's place then my place, tell me then. Think about why I am so mad at you!"
At that moment I am seriously very mad! My cousin asks me one month ago to stay at my place when she visited her boyfriend. Of course I let her stay at my place. It is much 'better' (more sensible) to stay at her boyfriend's place. Because Patsy's parents are very strict and traditional, she has to ask her parents first before she can go to Rotterdam to meet her boyfriend and stay at my place afterwards. Finally her parents let her go and stay at my place. She was glad and said "I prefer to stay at your place than his place." I answer "That is sensible!" Although she knows she is not allowed to do that...she finally doesn't listen.
My uncle and aunt will never let her stay at her boyfriend's place. If they get know, they will 'kill' her. And my cousin knows that very well. That is why she suggests to stay at my place and telling me in the next sms that keep that secret.
But at that day, she lies to me! I can really be very mad if someone is not honest to me. Lie is an example. My cousin knows me from her birth and so she should know me very well now. I really cannot accept her excuse of that her boyfriend is sick altough I him yelling and laughing at the background an hour ago. A very long plan of my cousin, which she always asks to stay at my place, is just a lie. I can be so mad about this!
The other thing that makes me so bad is that she 'uses' me as an excuse for their parents to be with her boyfriend and finally sleep at his place. What will happen if there is something happened to her at that night? Everyone will blame on me. That is not what I am mad of. I am mad because she uses me to do things what she is not allowed to do. She hasn't hold a second to think about me! That makes me also mad!

Until now, I don't know if I like to tell my uncle and aunt. I think I will leave it. But next time, when my cousin goes to Rotterdam again, she cannot count on me anymore. When she mentions that she will stay at my place, I will tell her parents that there is no place for her.

I personally think it is very stupid of her to get so far with him. The first thing is, is that they only know each other for just 2 months. Second, in these 2 months, it seems like that their relationship is not going well. Third, my cousin thinks she might be a player. The last, they don't know each other very well. How can my cousin so stupid to trust a guy who she doesn't know well? Many things can happen at his place and at night!

I hope she will know why I am mad of. But my feeling says that she doesn't know...